I remember how it all begin, you and me, us. I remember how we used to talk day and night. I remember how our faces used to lit up when we’re around each other. I remember the fights over the last bite of pizza. I remember our casual coffee dates. I remember those little gifts and surprises I received. I remember how you had forgotten our anniversary. I remember the long spent hours looking into each others’ eyes.
I remember those late night calls fighting over who’ll hang up first. I remember getting ready to look my best to impress you. I remember the feeling walking hand in hand in rain. I remember you cuddling me in my bed. I remember the warmth of your hug that used to heat me up in the flame of your love more and more. I remember how it ended. I remember how we changed. I remember how we gave up on each other. I remember how my fairytale turned into my worst nightmare.
Yeah, I remember everything. I wonder if you do. I think about you as I lay down on the bed where you once laid beside me. The bed is the same but you’re not here. The days and nights are the same but you’re not in them. My face no more lights up because you’re no more around me. Your gifts lay in my closet making sure of not a single day of mine goes by without remembering you. I no more have any complaint when our anniversary date passes by and you don’t call. I no more care about how I look. My heart cries as the rain pours down. I miss you. Yeah, I do. I wonder if you miss me. I want to tell you how much I want you to be back in my life.
Sounds Familiar?
Almost every one of us could relate to this condition to an extent after being a splitsville. The breakup is definitely one of the most traumatic experiences an individual goes through in a life. If you think clearly for a while, you’ll discover that the problem isn’t if you’ll ever be able to get over him or stop missing him. That’s a secondary issue. Rather, some of the toughest questions that your heart and mind keep bombing you are: What if he’s happy without you? What if he doesn’t want you back? What if he’s never going to come back in your life? The person you’ve been close with, the one with whom you’ve shared your life’s one of the best phases suddenly turns into a stranger and you no more what he’s doing right now, what are his plans for the day, what made him happy/ sad today, just nothing.
It’s definitely an excruciating feeling! The most heart-rending question that bugs your heart and mind is: What if he has moved on? You cannot really predict the answer to this question as you’ve been away from him emotionally even if you may have been around him physically.
For now, what you need to do is sit back and think. Think about how things used to be and how it altered. Think about the factor that led to contamination of your relationship. Are you the one at fault or him? Did any of you cheat? Or started being too protective? Or tried to control the relationship? There’s a single thing called love that brings two people together into a relationship but they get separated due to a number of possible reasons. Sit back and think of what went wrong.
If the reason were you or your nature or your specific behavior, hold on to things for now. Don’t try to get him back at this point. There’s a reason behind your separation and it was created by you. You should look forward to eliminating that part of your nature/behavior that resulted in the present condition. He doesn’t want your that very flaw back that lead him to this decision of being separated from him. Work on it. After all, a changed behavior is the best apology. Along with being able to get him back, you’ll even be doing yourself a favor by heading a step towards the journey of self-betterment. It’s definitely going to result in a better version of yourself.
5 Steps To Get Your Ex Back:
1. Analyze the situation
As it has been quite a long time since you and your ex are separated, the blazing reason or the condition must have been cooled down by now. Hence, it’s the right time to think what went wrong and analyze what caused that condition and which particular thing made you both get separated from each other. Understand the breakup and remember who of you initiated this and why.
2. Drop that heavy bag
The bag in your mind that contains your stubborn beliefs, ego, ‘I’m right’, ‘He’s wrong’, and the rigid mentality, drop that. Be open to everything. Keep yourself open to all the possibilities. Go talk to people who are your mutual friends and whom you trust that they would tell you the right information about what he needs and expects. Don’t get offended in the case when you hear something unexpected. For working on bettering yourself to get him back, you must develop the strength to accept the truth to be able to work in a right direction.
3. Be on your own
You need time to analyze what parts of your nature/behavior need to be changed or improved in order to let things work out like before. Refrain from having contact with him. Take time to build your self-esteem. Travel alone or go out on a vacation with friends and family. Be your own wise critic and work on yourself. Stop taking help and try to do your chores by yourself. Stop depending on external factors for happiness. Above all, be a go-to person for yourself.
4. Discover if he’s yet interested
Since you’ve polished yourself, now it’s time for action. Try to visit the places that he will be present and pretend not being aware of his presence. Notice how his behavior. Does he look at you? Show you to his fellow people? Does he get affected? Does he walk up to say you hello? Or he ain’t bothered by your presence! *sighs* Don’t shy away from making the first move. But be decent and genuine. Don’t behave desperately. Initiate a light talk. Let him observe the changes you’ve undergone and be mesmerized again.
5. Apologize
Don’t hesitate in a confessing a straight forward apology. Talk about how you felt, how you missed him, how you worked on yourself to be worthy of deserving him. Most importantly, talk about how much you love him. You’re ready to change for better and you already have started working. Don’t be just a person of words. Be a person of action and make him realize by your behavior that you really have changed for the good of your relationship.
But also consider the other side of the coin. If he’s the one to be blamed, then you need to consider your self-respect first. Missing him is okay. You can not control that but you shouldn’t want him back when you know he does not deserve you. You gave your best to maintain the relationship but there came a point where things stopped working out because they were not meant to be. Know your worth and trust your destiny that it’ll bring something better ahead in future. The universe doesn’t want you to waste your efforts on a wrong person. Learn to live by yourself and stay happy without depending on somebody who is not even worth your love and affection. It’s not your loss. So stop grieving over it and learn to be aware of what you deserve and be patient enough to wait for it to come.
5 Steps To Get Over Your Ex:
1. Analyze the situation
As it has been quite a long time since you and your ex are separated, the blazing reason or the condition must have been cooled down by now. Hence, it’s the right time to think what went wrong and analyze what caused that condition and which particular thing made you both get separated from each other. Understand the breakup and remember who of you initiated this and why.
2. Never pity yourself
You were a lover who did everything that was possible for saving the relationship. The other person should be sorry and regret letting go of a person like you. You should never feel sorry for yourself and spend your time reminiscing about the past and crying a river. Take your time to get fine. You may feel low and cry. That’s okay. But don’t stay there. You deserve to be loved not pitied over. Know your worth and never let yourself feel miserable.
3. Be on your own
Breathe the freedom and know that now you’re not bounded by any person. You’ve had enough time wasted on doing efforts for a wrong person. Now it’s time for you to shower yourself with some love. Take time to build your self-esteem. Travel alone or go out on a vacation with friends and family. Be your own wise critic and work on yourself but this time, to get over him. Stop taking help and try to do your chores by yourself. Stop depending on external factors for happiness. Above all, be a go-to person for yourself. Fall for yourself.
4. Your hobby is your savior
Hobby is something that makes a person happy and helps them feel alive. Take up your hobby and continue working on it. You’ll feel better and your mind and heart will have something worth to work over rather than feeling sorry for yourself. Consider taking up a task that you have been delaying since long or some work that you’ve left incomplete. Keep yourself busy and don’t let your ex hover over you. You have better things to focus on.
5. Consider taking counseling
Don’t shy away from taking up some counseling session. It may be by some professional relationship expert or your friends and family. It may or may not help but it will definitely contribute to your healing process. Don’t refrain yourself from talking about how miserable you feel. That’s okay. Everybody of us goes through such phase in life. The ones who truly care for you are definitely going to listen what you’ve to share and understand and help you get over your ex faster.
Conclusion
Broken relationships and leftover memories are one of the worst things in life. But don’t forget how much wisdom it has to offer. It all depends on how you face this depressing phase of life. Stop wondering if he has moved on and focus on dealing with it being a strong, practical person.