So you have suffered through a breakup, and your heart is broken. You love the person but you’re not sure how things will ever be the same, even though that’s what you want to happen. You think that it might be possible to get back together, but you’re not sure how to go about repairing something so fragile – but you’re certain that the effort will be worth it. The trouble is that face to face discussions can so easily get sidetracked and become the cause of even more difficulties. One of the best ways to try to fix things romantically is to do it in writing, and to make it a love letter at the same time. Putting words on paper helps you reflect, allows you time to refine what you’re saying, and is a positive way to approach the situation. Here are a few tips on how to repair a relationship with a love letter.
SAY IT, AND SAY IT STRAIGHT
You have to promise yourself from the start that you are going to express your feelings, and that you are going to be honest and candid. This means that you have to be in touch with your feelings, and that you have to be able to balance something that might sound negative with something positive. For example, of course you are hurt because your lover was unfaithful, but you also still love him or her very much, and want to work things out. You don’t have to hold back, but you have to be considerate and compassionate too.
BUT HAVE AN EDITOR IF POSSIBLE
If there is anyone that you can share your work in progress with, by all means do it. Having someone else read what you have written and offer constructive criticism can be invaluable. When it comes to emotions and honesty, it pays to choose your words carefully, and to make sure they will have the effect and impact you intend. Another reader can insure that this happens.
STAY FOCUSED
As you write, try to focus on your own responsibility for or complicity in whatever problems may have caused the rift between you, and ask for forgiveness if necessary. Depending on your particular situation, this may or may not be what is needed – if you truly believe that the other person was the sole cause of what happened, then focus on your feelings about his or her actions. Describe your present state factually and honestly, but again, balance these words with reassurances of love and affection.
BE SPECIFIC
After you have gotten this far, it will be important to offer some suggestions for how to repair the broken relationship. As you suggest specific ways to fix problems, be sure to be reasonable but firm, and to make it clear how your ideas can help. For example, you might say that a trial period of dating would be a good thing, set up a timetable, and be positive about the outcome. If the reader knows that you are serious about the process, it will have come through your careful and caring words.
WHATS NEXT
After saying what you would like to see happen and expressing your loving hope for the future, describe it. Imagine a future together, and be as fanciful and romantic as you want. Show your lover that no matter what has happened between you, there is a light ahead, and your life together can be a wonderful thing. Be rosy, positive, romantic and cheerful in this section, because it will reinforce and support all that you have said so far.
ASK FOR ACTION
Just as with any kind of human transaction, it’s important to say what you want, and to ask for a response and a commitment to a path of repair. There’s nothing wrong with presenting something like an ultimatum here, because you definitely want to fix this romance, and you are willing to go to great lengths to do so. You have to be sure that your lover is willing to do the same, and that he or she understands how the effort will pay off. But do it with love and tenderness, and ask for the same in return.
