“Addicted to bad relationships? Is that possible?”, you may ask. Although it sounds strange, but yes, it is. There are some people out there who suffer from that addiction. It seems as if the roller coaster ride of breaking up and making up were so enticing and thrilling to them.
Although their relationships are not good for them, and they are aware of that fact, they choose to stay in it. They even involve themselves again with another wrong guy in their next relationship after the current one ends. And the cycle goes on and on without end.
If that resembles your experience then there must be something wrong that you have to find out and fix in order to have more fulfilling and meaningful romantic relationships.
The Cause
In general, there are only two main possible causes for this seemingly “addicted to bad relationships” phenomenon. The first is: masochism, i.e abnormal tendency to derive sexual gratification from being physically or emotionally abused.
I believe only these masochists who are truly addicted to bad relationships. Masochists enjoy, even look forward to be treated badly and abusively. If you think you have this abnormal tendency and want to be free from it, there is no other way: you must get intensive spiritual and/or professional help.
I don’t think the rest can be categorized into that “addiction to bad relationships” group because, although they had gone from one bad relationship to another, actually they’re always hoping and dreaming about mutual and healthy relationships.
But why is the latter seemingly has that bad relationship habits? There are two main causes. First, wrong behavior & attitude in the relationship toward their partners, and the second, bad choices for the guys.
What we will be discussing here is the second: tendency on women to choosing the wrong guys for their romantic partners instead of the many more nice and good guys around them. The right behavior and attitude will be discussed in other articles. So, you may rewrite the title as “Addicted to Bad Boys” instead.
Addicted to Bad Relationships – The Nature Of Bad Boys
Many women get trapped in the vicious cycle of bad relationships because of their own way of thinking. They let other people relate to them on the basis of their weaknesses and faults.
They are attracted to bad traits in people and consequently, these lead them to unhealthy relationships. For the outsiders, it looks as if they are addicted to bad relationships!
Bad boys might seem to offer more fun and excitements, but it hardly lasts long. Most of them see women as conquest – something to be captured and conquered. When the thrill is over, so is the relationship. And the women then will be left alone for another conquest.
And know this one thing. While critics and insult can and will change a woman, it won’t change a man. It will only make him worse, more stubborn than before.
Men are different from women. You can not and you’ll never be able to change a man! A man will not change unless he wants to change. And he will not want to change unless he feels the necessity for it.
So, if you think you can help a bad boy to change him into a better person, it is foolish. It’s only a wishful thinking, nothing more.
Keep this in mind, if you feel that you need to change a man, then he is the wrong person for you! It is much better for you to find a man that you don’t feel like you have to change. It is much better for you to find somebody who will bring out the best in you instead the worst in you. “Addicted to bad relationships” stigmas are the last things you need in your life!
Addicted to Bad Relationships – Your Better Bet
Nice and good guys over there, although they look awkward, clumsy and boring, they’re always a better bet. They may look or act needy, or too nervous when talking to their love interests, but unlike the bad guys, they are usually more serious in building a mutual and more permanent relationship.
If you’re willing to see from other perspectives, their clings and neediness can mean nothing except their lack of experience in facing women.
Now, which one do you want, a man that is already very experienced and enjoys very much playing his games on females or an inexperienced guy that, maybe, will become a good husband and father for your kids?
But too many girls and women are unfair to them. They are too quickly in judging those nice guys’ politeness as weaknesses, not male enough and lacks of confidence.
Girls, if you often do this, try to put yourself in their shoes. If you meet someone that you are attracted to him so much, wouldn’t you do and act the same? Wouldn’t you be too nervous to say a thing to him, feeling awkward when he’s around?
Of course not every seemingly nice guys are really nice. Some are not. Don’t stereotype. Like women, men are different one another. Just because you’ve met some that are really jerks inside, it doesn’t mean they’re all jerks.
So girls, if you want to have a better and more promising relationship, open your heart to those nice guys, give them chances and help them, if necessary, to get closer to you. There’s nothing you can lose except that “addicted to bad relationships” stigmas!
How does someone get out of a three year “bad Guy” relationship ( Not Married) choice when there are children?
This “bad guy” has two other children from his earlier conquests and they have a child together. The ‘Bad Guy” does not want to leave… he has it made. She owns her home, has taken in one of his children, makes a good salary, pays the bills, daycare, etc. Plus he buys items he wants rather than saving or giving enough money to help with the bills. He has been asked to leave 3 times and he tugs at her heart and promises to do better and change?
How can I as mother help my daughter? I am praying for her and have many people praying for her. Should iI send her this article. She is naturally defensive with us when she decides to give him more time,
You can print it and give her privately. There is no guarantee he’s not checking her email or something.
My daughter has been in a bad relationship for 5 years now and has two kids with this person. Not married to him . She is on the verge of a nervous break down cause she does everything work pay the bills and takes care of the kids and he just sits back and does not do anything to help never held a job does not help with the kids. she has tries getting out but he will not leave. he plays mind games with her. he is so mentally abusive to her. She knows that she let it get this far . Now she is losing it. she wants him out but how does she do that, and who can she talk to for mental health. I have tried to help but i dont know what to do.