Couples fight and argue all the time. And by couples, I mean ALL couples that ever existed in the planet. I mean, that’s just human nature. You can’t help but fight for your beliefs and negate those that don’t share the same beliefs as yours. However, if you’re now on the path of desperately figuring out how to get ex back because you consistently fought with each other, then that’s a different story. There’s an accepted level of how often couples should fight, and what arguments are worth quarrelling about.
See, there’s a proper way to simulate constructive arguments in any relationship, and while it’s very unrealistic to aim for all arguments to be constructive, at least you should know when to back down and when to give in for the sake of the relationship. Good partners know when to shut up, and apparently that’s what the both of you probably lacked which lead to your breakup.
Read on as I will help you become enlightened about the nature of relationship fights, how you can control them, and how you can convince your ex that your relationship deserves a second chance, despite all the hurtful fighting that’s already happened.
1) Wait for a few days before you should talk again.
If your ex broke up with you after all the intense (not to mention nonsense) fighting, then it will do you best to stay away from them for a while. Your ex must’ve been really angry and frustrated to have come to that decision. Let the dust settle, and never ever do anything that will remind them of all the fighting over and over. There is a right time to open up the arguments, but to talk about them immediately after the breakup? Not the brightest idea.
(NOTE: If this is the first time that your partner tried to break up with you over an argument, know that they probably only did it on impulse and will sooner or later regret what they have done. However if this is the second, third, fourth time, then it may take you a hard time to convince them once more.)
2) Stop arguing your case.
A lot of relationship sites out there say something like “Just hold on to your beliefs, but be polite about it next time.” In my opinion, this is not a good way on how to get ex back. If you really valued the relationship in the first place, you will set aside your opinions and your ideas for the sake of your partner’s feelings. The next time you talk to your ex, just emphasize that you are ready for compromise, and that you will humble yourself in front of them. To some extent, this will mean that you are going to let your partner win over you. But is that really a bad thing? For me, it isn’t. If it can help you discover how to get ex back, then I think that’s a good situation to be in.
3) Don’t be a doormat.
However, don’t just totally agree and become a love-starved puppy in front of your ex. Clearly state that you are ready to back down, and that you won’t be opening such arguments again in front of them, but don’t say “yes” to your partner’s every whim. The relationship that you’ll be building out of this will be a superficial one, and there’s no doubt in mind that that your partner will only use you for your passiveness.
4) Learn how to handle arguments better.
You should actively improve your attitude towards fighting and learn how to calm yourself down and present your arguments in a constructive, not a destructive manner. This involves thoroughly listening to the other party’s case, refraining from shouting or physical violence, not bringing up things that are already in the past, and learning when to shut up.
When it’s Broken Up by Jealousy
Jealousy in relationships can take many forms, and you should be aware of all this in looking for ways to get your ex back. It could be either of these two things which resulted to your breakup:
- Your ex was the one who was so jealous of you and a potential third party he/she opted out of the relationship.
- You yourself were the one who was jealous in the relationship and your ex decided he/she have had enough of this.
Whatever the case may be, it is quite apparent that you need to prove and demonstrate to your ex that jealousy should have no place in the relationship. It’s about the both of your learning how to overcome jealousy, how to erase insecurity when your partner is away, and how you should consistently assure your partner that you’re being loyal to them. But how exactly can you do that? This article will point you in the right direction.
1) Completely assure your ex that a third wheel does not exist.
You need to be able to say this in front of your ex verbally, or else doubt will linger in their minds. People are not mind-readers, and it is a really bad attitude to assume that your partner can understand you, even if there is no communication. Talk to your ex! Tell them that you’re only seeing them and them alone.
Of course, you must also be able to walk the talk. If you’re able to, disappear from the life of the person you allegedly got involved with. Erase all forms of communication from them, and never bring up this person as a topic in your partner’s conversations. This is the only way you can let your ex see that you’re being serious about this threat and that you’re willing to do all the ways to get your ex back.
2) Learn how to overcome jealousy once and for all.
As an attitude, jealousy is a really undesirable characteristic to possess, to begin with. If you want your relationship to live long enough, then mastering your emotions is of prime importance. Don’t get instantly mad once you see your partner go out with someone else. Ask your partner his/her motives behind his/her actions. Yes, they are on a relationship, but they are still human beings and should still have the right to hang out with whomever they want, as long as it’s all friendly and casual.
Also, if the situation is reversed for your relationship (ie. Your ex is the one who gets easily jealous), then you should remind them of these things, that too much jealousy is bad, feeling insecure when you are away is bad, that there are still other people in this world you’d choose to spend some time with.
3) Go out with your ex’s friends more often.
Trust me; this will reduce the risk of a “behind-the-back” episode because you will preempt it by being friends with your ex’s friends. People don’t usually like to deal with a situation that will mess all their friendships up, so by being friends with your partner’s friends, you are forming a more honest, less isolated relationship environment.