How Can You Improve Intimacy in A Relationship?

Two people share intimacy when they know each other and have a bond. Authentically intimate relationships have a sense of openness, honesty, vulnerability, comfort, and familiarity.

These do not have to be merely romantic relationships (though it is vital to have with those) nor for situations sexual in nature; these can be friendships or a mom and dad, sibling, and on. Keeping a level of intimacy in a relationship throughout a long-term partnership can be challenging. However, it is possible if each individual puts forth sufficient effort, looks for new ways to incorporate intimate newness, and does old-fashioned hard work.

People believe relationships should be effortless and carefree, not one you care about. You need to try every day to make it fresh and new until you can no longer do so.

Types Of Intimacy

Intimacy is not restricted to romantic love, but it’s essential in that context. All couples require affection and attention from their mate, the person who means more than any other. People thrive when they feel loved, cared for, and accepted as they are in their vulnerable state.

Intimate contact is not solely related to sex. There are many types, with four being primary, that you need to become aware of before starting to work on a romantic partnership.

Once you educate on the basic types and what they involve, you can apply them with your significant other each day. You might think you can let things slip as you get comfortable and familiar over time, but sadly that’s how ruts develop, and breakups eventually occur.

You have to work every day to keep the spark alive. Educate on the types of intimacy at Let us check out the varied intimacies.


When you come together in a space that feels safe, there is an opportunity for each person to open up in a vulnerable, honest capacity where you might not otherwise comfortably feel compelled to do.

One of you will need to take the lead in this type of situation, producing a safe environment inviting the other person to open up. Generally, these types of conversations occur as “pillow talk.”

That is not always after sex; sometimes, it is when you lie down for the night or wake up in the morning. This is the time when you feel safe in bed, it is quiet, there is no opportunity for distractions or interruptions, and you have the chance to speak freely. These are some of the most open, honest, intimate moments you will have in your partnership.


These conversations are different from “pillow talk.” There is the potential for debate, but in a friendly context, if you have a good relationship. You should be able to express and have your opinions and ideas appreciated, even if you do not see eye to eye on the topic.

These discussions can involve current events, political affairs, work-related topics, anything you would typically discuss in an intimate setting over a drink of maybe spiced cider.


Sexual intimacy is when couples explore their sensual and sexual desires with each other in the privacy of their home. You should feel comfortable discussing your wants and needs and vice versa with the possibility of experimenting as often as possible to keep the spice in the bedroom.

Couples typically neglect frank conversations on fantasies and what they would like to experience. You should never be embarrassed or feel shame when discussing sex with a mate.

This is the person you should feel utterly vulnerable with without any fear. Discussing sex and your body needs to come openly and naturally if you intend to be comfortable, natural, and all you hope for.


When people share responsibilities, basic household chores, financial obligations, work together to accomplish a project or something of interest, there is a bond that develops, resulting in experiential intimacy.

Perhaps you help your mate change out the car tire by removing the lug nuts or handing the tools, or maybe they give you the tools.
It is a period where you grow closer because you achieved a personal goal together. As you can see thus far, the common denominator with all types is developing a bond and growing closer together through some form of conversation, activity, or contact.

Final Thought

As you can see, you can achieve an intimate result with no contact whatsoever, and you can do so with virtually anyone, but the one you need to be concerned with more than any is your romantic partner.

In reality, in each of these situations, aside from being a mere discussion on which political candidate is running for office, the romantic couple is likely sitting close to each other with hands together, or a hand is touching an arm in emphasis to a point in the conversation.

Still, there is contact throughout the discussion. That is different from what you would have with a friend or relative. Go here to learn about true intimacy.

The same is true with “pillow talk” and experiential intimacy. There is probably an occasional kiss or touch throughout the experience (or should be).

Again, because relationships are work and affection is an essential part of that mix, including a longer than usual hug in the morning before leaving for work along with a lingering kiss lasting longer than a mere 6 seconds.

When you see a couple celebrating 68 years together, enduring because of still holding hands when they walk along in a store, and still sneaking kisses and pinching butts when they are alone in the kitchen – that is how you keep intimacy in a relationship, my friends.

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