When looking for love and romance, honesty is truly the best policy. The beginning of a romantic relationship is similar to building a skyscraper – you are starting with the foundation, so you want it to be strong and sound. Think of being honest as pouring concrete down as construction begins on your new romance. At the same time, envision that any lie you tell is like building your skyscraper on sand.
When looking for romantic love, it is easy to see why being dishonest is sometimes hard to resist. Wanting to be attractive to a new love interest, we might engage in different types of dishonesty, such as:
LIES ABOUT OURSELVES
This is a type of dishonesty that is destined to destroy your chance at romance because it is impossible to maintain for the long term. Telling a romantic love interest that you jog everyday when you are truly a couch potato or exclaiming you make a lot of money while creditors are calling you nightly is going to catch up with you, and soon.
Perhaps you feel you are being honest by stating that you play guitar and write songs. But if you know only two chords and barely touch the instrument, you are exaggerating your strengths, which is (to be honest)…lying.
Another danger with exaggerating is that you can come off as egocentric or too boastful. No one can be completely perfect and it is a red flag to a prospective lover if every word from your mouth describes you as an ideal being. Keep in mind, if searching for a deeper romance, your imperfections will be just as attractive to a serious, committed partner.
AGREEMENT (LOSE YOUR IDENTITY) LIES
Another type of dishonesty that results in a weak foundation is when an individual becomes the other person’s identity. Again, this type of dishonesty is one that will eventually cause any romantic relationship to crumble.
Many people fear that if they disagree with a new love interest, the person will end the relationship. This is a valid concern, if you both disagree on important beliefs and goals. But agreeing with your lover cannot continue indefinitely, unless you are willing to sacrifice all of your own wants and desires. If you find yourself constantly agreeing with your partner about politics, religion, family values and future dreams that are in direct conflict with your own, you are heading for trouble and away from true romance.
Your romantic love cannot grow if core beliefs are in opposition. If one partner wants children and another doesn’t, there is no middle ground to be found. If your lover wants to live in the remote wilderness and you love living in the big city, you are building your relationship on sand. True romance and love are about more than physical attraction – they are about a healthy team partnership where two people walk side by side toward their hopes and dreams.
In sum, honesty affects your chances of romance. When you are honest, you are building a firm foundation for a romantic relationship to thrive and grow on. Romance and passion come from loving a partner for both weaknesses and strengths, for being an individual as well as a team player. Grow romance on the firmest ground there is – the REAL you!