You’ve been with your partner for a long time and things aren’t as hot as they used to be. Not only is that relatively common amongst couples but it’s also temporary with the right tricks and techniques. Re-establishing passion in your relationship may not be easy but it’s certainly possible.
According to modern-day relationship experts, there are several reasons why couples experience a decrease in sexuality or passion in the bedroom. This is especially true within long-term relationships but the problem persists among new couples as well. The top five reasons why passion goes on the decline are:
Reservations in the bedroom are passion killers. When one or more person has a negative view of sex or sexuality, it’s extremely difficult to keep the fire burning. Inhibitions foster feelings of guilt, fear, and self-consciousness that often manifest themselves in repulsive ways. Years of dealing with unresolved inhibitions can create a barrier in the relationship that may require counseling to fix.
Poor Prioritizing or Initiative
In a healthy relationship, sex is set as a priority. Time and energy are divided equally among other duties and obligations. However, couples who put intimacy on the back burner may wake up one day to realize the fire has been put out. On the contrary, having sex simply out of obligation is no way to instill passion in a relationship. Both partners must feel the urge and act on it in a timely and self-driven manner.
Focusing too intently on sexual performance can deplete a relationship’s passion reserves as well. Performance anxiety is often translated by the other partner as a sign that the relationship is lacking something – love, connection, enjoyment, etc. Being preoccupied with things like stamina, endurance and pleasure can communicate several negative things, including selfishness and a general lack of motivation and desire. Over time, unchecked performance anxiety can render a relationship flameless.
Loss of Attraction
There are many couples who stay together despite being no longer attracted to one another. In those cases, restoring passion is extremely difficult. For whatever reason, whether it be due to body changes, hidden bitterness, mistrust or habitually poor performances, a loss of attraction can significantly decrease the hunger between individuals in a sexual relationship. Generally, partners must find new ways to appreciate or feel smitten with their lover or else the passion never returns.
Perhaps the biggest threat to relationship passion is monotony. tediousness. Dullness in the bedroom leads to boredom, which ultimately leads to a form of familiarity that decreases anticipation and makes it difficult to get excited about sex. Fortunately, this is one of the easiest passion killers to fix. Most couples have incredible luck with marital aids (a.k.a. sex toys) and a little perverted creativity.
Although there are plenty of things that can threaten the passion between you and your lover, there are also several tools available to couples who are willing and able to use them. Rekindling the flame doesn’t have to be difficult when you take a proactive approach to your relationship.
Five Surefire Ways to Set Your Relationship Ablaze (Again)
Your union does not have to become stale simply because you’ve been with your partner for a while, nor does it have to lack passion because of your lifestyle or personality type. Let your lover know how you truly feel by expressing yourself in a fun and flirty fashion. The following tips and tricks should help:
Start Pampering One Another
Nothing says love and passion like thoughtful acts of service. In fact, it’s listed as one of the famous Five Love Languages penned by Dr. Gary Chapman. The easy-to-read and understand handbook describes pampering your partner as a key component to lasting affection. Aside from that, though, most people enjoy having someone do things for them from time to time.
Babying your baby should come naturally, but life can get in the way. By prioritizing your relationship above more trivial pursuits and taking some initiative at the right time, it’s much easier to pamper one another and begin rekindling the flames of passion as a result.
Take a Break from It All
Monotony can wreck a relationship faster than infidelity and poverty combined. While lovers often forgive one another for bad decisions, there’s nobody to blame when the union goes stale and that leaves many people searching in the wrong place for answers. Instead, take a short vacation to get away from your ho-hum existence for a bit.
It’s like pushing the reset button on your relationship. Getaways allow you and your lover to see each other in a different light and under new circumstances, giving you both the opportunity to recall why you fell in love in the first place. A lovers’ retreat can be simple or elaborate but it should always be somewhere outside the house.
Be More Spontaneous
It’s important to be a bit impulsive to secure your passionate bond. A lack of spontaneity is listed as one of the top ten reasons why people cheat on their partner. So, not only does monotony kill passion it also murders fidelity.
Although a nice couple’s vacation may take some time to plan, simpler things can be done at the spur of the moment to establish or re-establish a zealous connection between you and your lover. Things like unplanned dinners, completed favors, surprise tickets to an event, fun games and/or sudden sensual massages go a long way towards boosting morale.
Introduce Your Partner to the Wonderful World of Sex Toys
To quote one of the best-known sex toy experts on the planet, John James, “Sex toys play an important role in any relationship dynamic, especially for partners who lack the necessary tools to maintain passion in the bedroom. Not only do high-quality marital aids act as ergonomic substitutes for what our brains and bodies lack but they also provide mankind with a safe and effective means by which they can pleasure themselves or prepare for pleasure from a lover.”
Well said, Mr. James, but while the boys love their toys, the topic isn’t exactly table talk for most women. So, although men are typically less inhibited when it comes to using remote-controlled or battery-powered devices, the ladies may need a bit more coaxing. How about this: Recent studies suggest that women take longer to climax and then experience an orgasm that’s 2-3 times longer than the average male. Without a good toy on hand to bridge the gap, someone might not get theirs.
Buy Your Lover Gifts
Most people don’t want to admit it, but they love receiving surprise gifts from someone they care about. In many cases, however, asking for a specific item is considered rude. Don’t force your lover into submission that way or else you’ll pay the penalty in passion.
Instead, intermittently purchase small, thoughtful or sexy gifts for your betrothed. The items don’t have to be elaborate or expensive to get the job done. The main idea is to make your lover feel wanted again. Gifts make your desires more tangible, releasing the inhibitions and anxieties that some people experience, especially in a long-term relationship.
10 Tips for the Passion Pros
Professionally passionate people appreciate the finer points of relationship health, but the following tips and tricks are only for people who understand social cues and truly want to rekindle the flame with their lover:
- Absence can make the heart grow fonder. Give your partner enough time and space to miss you and use your time apart wisely.
- Most people are no good at reading minds nor are they willing to hear good things about themselves through the grapevine only. Although actions often speak louder than words, it’s crucial that you still share positive thoughts about your partner face-to-face.
- Try to touch and kiss your lover as often as possible. Also, be sure to have some feeling behind your physical affection or your partner will sense something is amiss.
- Just because you’re together and know how the other person feels doesn’t mean flirting is unnecessary. In fact, flirting is the food that fuels the fires of passion.
- There’s always time to work on yourself and become more attractive to your lover. When you first met and were falling in love, would either of you do or say some of the things you do or say today?
- Understand your partner’s unique quirks and work with them, not against them.
- Deep conversation can act as a non-sexual form of intimacy that secures the bonds between you and your lover regardless of monotony, poverty, infidelity, inhibitions or performance anxiety.
- It’s time to get on your A game with the romantic gestures. If you have no clue where to start, there are plenty of resources that provide creative ideas.
- Write little notes to your lover from time to time reminding them of how you feel or preparing them for an upcoming surprise.
- Never take for granted that your lover wants to increase the passion in your relationship. It could be that they don’t care at all. with you.