You found a match! That’s great! But you may be wondering how to take it offline? You don’t want this to be a pen pal relationship forever don’t you? You have this question in your mind that you are so eager to know the answer.
Do you feel butterflies everytime you receive a message from him? Do you read all of your conversations again and again? If so, you are already developing your feelings towards that person.
Taking the relationship from online to offline is very important. It gives you a chance to know the person more. Make sure to take down some notes on these tips to make your relationship work outside online dating:
Throw some hints
If you happen to be in touch for quite awhile now and they haven’t asked you out yet, giving subtle date suggestions are the key. Let them know that you want to meet them in person indirectly.
How? Like telling them that you would love to visit this newly opened Chinese restaurant in your area. Then wait for their response. If they ask you out, score!
The only way to find out if they are the one for you is to meet them in person. After all the efforts of reaching out to them and they still haven’t got the initiative to go out with you, try being honest that you want to meet them in person already.
If you notice that after all the hints you threw in their way and still they don’t initiate anything or even show the slightest hint that they’re willing to make the effort, then consider this as a huge red flag. It is time for you to move on and find another guy who wants to pursue you. If he keeps on making excuses for not meeting you in person, this is a major red flag that you should look out.
Take it to the next level
You’ve sent your first message and you’ve reached the point where you feel comfortable talking to the person you meet online, ask for their phone number or give them yours. Tell them that it’s better if both of you should hear each other’s voice. Most guys would ask a woman out on a date over the phone rather than on a dating site.
Be old school and let the guy call you first. But when they do call, show them you’re flattered and that you appreciate it. Even though you exist in the modern world, a woman should not always be the one who will run after a man. Let those boys man up and be gallant.
Get out of your comfort zone
Everybody loves long phone calls. It’s as if like the world stops while you are both talking to each other. A phone conversation is not just about how sexy are their voices, but you will know how engaged, curious, and connected they are with you.
If you feel you’re already bored just after five minutes of talking over the phone, it’s better if you just cut it off rather than wasting a whole night with someone you can’t feel a connection with.
If your conversation went well, talk about your meet up. Here, you will be sure that the date would be less awkward. Make your first impression memorable. Tell them jokes, about yourself, point out the things you like about them, etc.
Talking over the phone before you go out on a date gives you the chance to be comfortable with each other first.
You don’t have to overthink and get pressure on how you look, how they look, what will happen on the date, who will make the first move in striking a conversation, and what food you’re going to eat. It is best to decide earlier if you are going to push the date.
The only downside to this is that phone calls will be different after you meet up in person. The worst that could happen is that both of you will be sharing so many things over the phone that you’ll start to be comfortable with just talking over the phone. Keep the phone calls short but sweet. Save the long talks on your first date.
Sweep off all negativity
Most online dating users have used online dating as a wishlist of the characteristics that they are looking for in a match. Researchers have proven that people are not that good in predicting which qualities or characteristics they’re looking for in a partner. Sometimes, you will not notice that you enjoyed the person’s company even if they did not meet your preferences where he must have tanned skin, emerald eyes, or is 6 feet tall.
Others end up dating a person who is a complete opposite of the person they wish to be with. Yes, we all have our own standards. But sometimes if that spark hits you already, it will always be personality over looks.
It’s important to also know your deal breakers whether you are willing to make an exception for the right person. When you love someone, it is not based on appearance. It’s on how just being with them fills your heart with unexplained happiness and real connection.
Make it possible
Meeting your date for the first time doesn’t require to be an expensive one. Having a simple date will give you both a chance to talk without bothering who will pay for the expensive bill. You may go out for a coffee or watch a movie. Make sure that the place you choose is quiet so you can both enjoy each other’s company.
If you happen to meet someone that is a thousand miles away from you, then make sure that you get to exchange a lot of messages, calls, video chats, and long distance date nights before you make a plan to meet up.
Both of you should compromise on who will travel. Or you can also both travel together to Asia for a romantic getaway and experience a new culture. Together. We all know how hard long distance relationships can be, but if both of you are willing to sacrifice and work it out, chances are you will get the happy ending you’ve always wanted.
Once everything is settled, and both of you have already agreed on the meetup, make sure to give your best on that day. Your first meeting should always be in a public space like cafe or restaurants. Your date location should not be too crowded and loud so both of you can have a good and interrupted conversation.
If somewhat you don’t find the date enjoyable or it’s too plain boring for you, it’s more preferable if you’re honest with them. After your date, do not be afraid to be up-front and ask your date if they enjoyed hanging out with you. But it is better if you are the first one to give feedback.
For example, if your date’s not making eye contact or is like they would rather be someplace else, make a comment in a non-offensive way like “Hey, what are you thinking right now?”
Your date will automatically be interested in telling you what’s on their mind or they will shift their eyes on to you for the rest of the date or they will be defensive and ignore what you said. What’s most important is how they act when you try to communicate with them wholeheartedly.
If you really felt uncomfortable during the date and it felt like you are the only person who puts an effort in engaging with them. You may simply give them a reason to leave early like there is an emergency or important problem came up from your work, friends, or family. Make sure you look sincere in making your excuse so he will not get a clue that he has been ditched. Just ask them politely that you need to leave early due to an unexpected emergency.
Do not become that person who gives false hopes to someone. Like accepting their invitation to have a second date with you but then you talk how ugly or boring your date to your friends. It’s as if you are just talking behind someone’s back. If you think that the person is really not for you and you don’t see any connection between you, just cut it off and tell them the reason why you don’t want to have a second date with them.
In order not to make the same mistakes as last time, carefully choose the person you really want to date. You may gather enough information about that person to let you decide whether they are worth your time or not.
Sort out all your standards for a person. List down all the things you want in a match and other traits that you may reconsider if they don’t have some of those qualities.
To make sure that your online match is a person that’s worth your time, effort, and love, follow these steps to gain the success you’ve always wanted.