Learn how to face it and be happy. Lose the fear of the kilometers that separate you and take the opportunity to be happy together with your loved one, without losing the opportunity to live a great love!
Being together, sharing a movie on weekends, sleeping together every night, being able to schedule a dinner for two in the middle of the week. These seem like commonplace activities for most dating. But some people can’t do it that way at the moment.
Long-distance relationships have a different dynamic. Often there are hundreds of miles separating the two people in love, which can scare some people immediately to the point that they would rather lose the one they love than face this challenge.
For those who have never experienced this and are faced with the dilemma of whether or not to risk entering into this type of relationship, it is important to understand how you can face this new situation. In addition, it is essential to know what the couple can do to mitigate the feeling of distance and make things work. And, above all, to be as happy as if they lived in the same place.
Are you going through this situation? Then this post is for you, huh? The first thing you should think about is how to face a long distance relationship.
How to deal with long distance dating?
One of the first things that comes to the mind of those who are facing the chance of a long distance relationship is: fear. Fear of not working out, fear of how they will face the situation, fear of not being able to stand the longing, fear of not knowing how to deal with this new dynamic, etc. There are so many fears that many people simply put on the brakes when facing this possibility.
A doctor in Clinical Psychology and couples therapist, points out that one of the main ones is related to jealousy: “Most people believe that physical proximity prevents betrayal, which is not true. To overcome this kind of fear, good communication is fundamental.”
But how to get around it? Here comes in another key issue for relationships in which the couple does not see each other constantly. “The important thing is to have complicity, closeness (even if only emotional), support and respect,” says the therapist. In addition, trust is fundamental for those who opt for such a commitment.
An important detail is to understand that not all long-distance relationships are the same. Because each commitment is unique, isn’t it? “It is very different if you are dating someone in person and then this relationship becomes long-distance, than if you are already dating at a distance or, in the most complex situation, if the members of the couple don’t know each other personally,” explains the couples therapist.
So there are no specific rules on the subject. The important thing is that if you have fallen in love with someone who is far away now, and you have decided to live this love, that you allow yourself to discover little by little how the dynamic between you will work so that it can work out.
5 simple things that become important when you are long-distance dating
That every relationship is unique is a fact. But there are important tips on what can be done that can help you if you are in this situation. Here are 5 simple things that can make your long distance relationship lighter and more enjoyable.
Communication is essential for those who are distant from each other. This is because as the close conviviality is not possible, it is a form of approximation between you. Psychologist indicates that you talk as much as possible throughout the day, without interfering with your daily activities, obviously. “It can be quick messages by WhatsApp, Skype or Facetime conversations, email, even handwritten letters (if you want to be romantic and vary).”
But this must be talked about between the couple and arranged in the best way, so that it does not get in the way of the routine of either of you or that it may cause any discomfort that will harm the routine.
But what to talk about? The therapist gives the tips: “Talk about all kinds of subjects, things that happened during the day (however trivial they may be), important issues, problems, fears. The important thing is to share. And get to know each other’s routines. That makes it easier to communicate and also to “be present,” even if from afar.”
2. Do activities together, even if physically separated
When we are in a relationship we like to share some activities with our partner, right? So how about doing something similar, even if at a distance? The therapist indicates some activities that can be done together: “watching the same TV series, taking a photography or cooking course, playing the same sport, etc.”
Besides bringing a sense of closeness, it could serve as a way to bring up common issues, as well as being an activity to do when you are together.
3. Get closer to family
In addition to demonstrating the seriousness of the commitment, keeping in touch with the couple’s family, according to a psychologist, will help in case one of the parties decides to move to another city to get closer to the other. Having the welcome of your partner’s family members is essential for this change in your life.
4. Give, even at a distance
Surprise is all good. And doing that when you’re in a long-distance relationship is key. “It doesn’t have to be anything expensive, or have a significant date. Sometimes a simple card, flowers, book, or any other meaningful object makes all the difference.
This gesture, besides being a demonstration of affection, helps you to be present in the person’s life.
5. Make an effort to be together
Even if you get used to the miles that separate you, being close is too good, right? So make an effort to do that. Schedule in advance to enjoy holidays, keep an eye on airline tickets, take advantage of frequent flier programs. The important thing is to kill the longing whenever possible!
Leading a long distance relationship is entirely possible, even in the long term. However, it takes effort, commitment, and love from both parties to make it work.
And therapist gives one last tip, super fundamental for those who are entering this dynamic for the first time: “When the longing tightens, remember that sometimes it’s also good to have some time to yourself, which you can enjoy as you want: going out with your friends or family, studying more, dedicating yourself to work, acquiring new hobbies, etc.”
So, what are your fears and experiences with this type of relationship? Tell us in the comments! Share your thoughts on the subject with us!