Financial stability is a primary factor to any relationship’s success. It all boils down to one particular question: Can the both of you afford the relationship you’re in? If your ex gave up on you because of matters regarding money, your task to get ex back will be really hard. Nonetheless, it is not impossible to convince your ex that you can work it out regardless of the financial difficulty. It’s all about reminding them of their responsibilities as the relationship’s other half, setting priorities straight, and accepting complete fiscal responsibility.
Of course, before you can even come up to your ex to try and fix the broken relationship, you need to figure out how you can get out of your financial bubble. Your ex wouldn’t be enticed to get back with you if he/she can still see you in such a messed up state. Be realistic here: people wouldn’t want to associate themselves with financially hard up people. Poorness killed your relationship; it’s only logical that financial stability will be the cure to your problems.
Therefore, you must work hard and earn that money before you can have even the slightest chance to get ex back.
Here are also some things you must remember in dealing with your ex on issues regarding money:
- Remind your ex that money isn’t everything in the relationship.
Couples often times get too consumed about money matters and how they’ll spend their finances that they completely forget why they went into a relationship in the first place. Yes, money is important, stability is essential, but it shouldn’t make or break a relationship. There will always be problems involving money, and you need to make your ex realize that.
- Be honest and realistic on projecting financial outcomes or assessing monetary issues that can affect your relationship.
In discussing money matters with your ex, the key is to be honest and forthcoming in your predictions and assessments. Don’t overestimate your projected revenue, and don’t hide your debts and arrears. This is why it is very important to become financially stable first before you can even present yourself to your ex again.
- If you can’t afford your current lifestyle, change it.
Also, you can do the converse of it: if you want to maintain your current lifestyle, bring in more revenue. Work harder. Whatever direction you will choose to take, your ex will definitely see your willingness to prove that you can rise above your financial detriments.
- Inform your ex of your short-term and long-term goals.
In this manner, your ex will see that you have already mapped your life out and you are now becoming sure of what you want out of life. Women love men who prepare for the long haul, and they would love to be part of such a well-prepared adventure. Convince your ex that you can now see them becoming a crucial part of your plans for the future.
Cheating is the most unacceptable form of act you could that will undoubtedly destroy your relationship in seconds, once you get caught. I know this because I have cheated in a relationship myself, and I tried numerous approaches to get my ex back. The experience was hard, I tell you. The first twenty attempts were insufferable and I almost came to a point of giving up. However, once I truly understood what my ex wanted from me I got the second chance I’ve always wanted. Our relationship went to live on for five more years, and needless to say it was one of the most memorable relationships I have had.
Now, I will share to you some of the things I learned after I got caught cheating, and what I did to get my ex back the right way. If you’re in the same situation and desperately need to win your ex back, then I urge you to read on.
First off, I should say that once you get caught cheating, the feeling of shame will consume you. You will feel embarrassed, undignified and lonely. You must be able to understand these feelings of guilt first so that you will be able to control them. Contemplate on your actions and really make it stick to your head. Don’t get too overwhelmed with your guilty feelings, or else you’ll end up wallowing in self-pity and you won’t be truly happy in your future relationships ever again.
Here are some of the things to remember upon trying to win your ex back whom you lost because of your cheating:
- Don’t rush things.
There is this urgent need for us to hasten the fixing, because we feel that if we don’t settle this problem fast, the relationship will be gone for good. This is not a good mindset to possess. Here’s the thing: cheating is a very devastating form of sin and it will damage your ex to the core. It will instantly build a wall of pride around your ex, and it will take a very, very, very long time to tear those walls apart. There is no easy way around justifying your cheating, so take things slow and accept the current state of events as they are.
- Stay away from your ex for as long as you can; let the dust settle.
Upon trying to get my ex back, I discovered that once you smother your presence around your ex so much they will instinctively run away from you because they will be constantly reminded of your horrible actions everytime they see you. If you are able to, move to another city or take a vacation somewhere far away. Or at least, try not to communicate with her in whatever way. Just let the dust settle in before you even try to make your move.
- Cut all ties with the third party.
If you are truly serious and want to win your ex back, you do realize that the third wheel must go away. Bar your fling from communicating with you in whatever way and it is a big no-no to be seen with the one you cheated with in public. Just make the third party disappear from your life completely.
- Apologize directly once and for all.
There is no room for error in trying to apologize to your ex. This step must be done with such precision and accuracy. You must apologize to your ex for your actions of cheating ONLY ONCE. You must not repetitively apologize to them after that. In apologizing, don’t fumble through your words. Make your case by stating simply why you cheated, why you need to win your ex back and how regretful you are of your actions. Don’t state conditions or promises, you are in no position to be saying that to your ex. You must apologize with sincerity and honesty; just be an open book in front of your ex at this point.
- Just wait, don’t pressure her.
After you apologize to your ex, it’s a waiting game. You don’t get to pressure them to make their decision. In my experience, it took my ex two months to truly get over my actions, and another month to finally get my ex back. It is in this situation that the adage “True love waits” really applies.
Don’t expect your ex to really want you back, either. Most of the time once a person is caught cheating, their partner’s trust for them is forever shattered. And as you know, trust is a fundamental pillar in all relationships, and your ex may not be able to get back to the way it was before.
Nevertheless, just pray for the best, wait for your ex, and shower them with all the love you have.