Platonic love can be great for you. Out of the many types of love, such as romantic, sexual, pragmatic, altruistic, manic, self, and so on – platonic love is perhaps the least understood.
It was postulated by the great Athenian philosopher Plato. Platonic love essentially boils down to a type of love between two people that is not physical. It’s more of an intellectual or spiritual connection, generally between a man and a woman.
In this piece, we are going to have a look at what platonic love is and also reveal some of its secrets and advantages.
What is platonic love?
A soul-to-soul connection between two people is called platonic love. Sexual tendencies, carnal attraction to the other’s body, and physical attraction are not in the play.
Platonic love mostly happens on an intellectual level when two people have a great deal of fondness, liking, and gratitude towards each other without having any physical attraction whatsoever.
The way platonic love grows is usually from a good friendship. Sharing hobbies, tastes, likes and dislikes, opinions, and so on can help you transform your friendship with someone into a deeper and stronger bond of platonic love.
Platonic love is fairly rare.
It is also important to understand what’s not platonic love.
Platonic love is signified by the absence of physical or sexual desire or attraction. It’s not signified by invisible attraction. If there is attraction, then it’s not platonic love.
Is platonic love just a good friendship?
The love between two good friends is platonic love. Not all platonic love is, however, friendship.
For example, it’s possible for a guy and a girl to be great friends. They hang out all the time and share common likes and dislikes. They are not a couple. This is definitely platonic love that comes from friendship.
On the other hand, it’s also possible for you to find someone through any other means besides an initial friendship. You start to spend more time with them without learning a lot about their personal life.
You both, however, care deeply for each other and appreciate that care among yourselves. This is also platonic love which might or might not be termed a friendship.
It’s easy to see why platonic love could be reduced to the singular term of friendship in some cases. But it’s deeper than that.
What are the benefits of platonic love?
A healthy platonic love relationship goes both ways. If one of the two sends or receives mixed signals then it can lead to resentment down the road. Both parties have to consensually agree to define borders.
The benefits of such a relationship or friendship are many. For once, it makes sure that both parties have plenty of trust and respect for each other.
Platonic love also ensures that you have emotional support when you need it.
If you share common likes and opinions then platonic love also makes sure that you have plenty to talk about.
Things to do to make platonic love work
Platonic love isn’t easy. Some might have a natural platonic love relationship with another, but that’s not the case with everyone.
Here are some things to do to solidify a platonic love relationship or friendship:
- Make sure that the respect and endearment towards each other don’t die out.
- Define what level of physical intimacy are both of you okay with.
- Avoid topics that you both disagree on or opinions that cause discomfort to one another.
- Don’t let any conflict grow. Always discuss things.
As this is not a typical romantic relationship, you should not have emotional, physical, or financial expectations from someone you are platonically in love with. Treat it as a good friendship instead.
Platonic love with someone who has a partner
If someone is already in a romantic relationship then it doesn’t mean that they cannot be in platonic love with another. However, certain boundaries have to be created and respected here.
For example, the priority will always be the romantic partner. Also, the romantic partner of the person might not prefer intimacy, closeness, or emotional connection someone has with their partner above a threshold.
There are also sexual, financial, and emotional boundaries that you cannot cross even if you have platonic love for someone if they are in a romantic relationship. Their romantic partner’s dynamics and boundaries have to be respected.
Jealously is a big no when it comes to being platonically in love with someone who already has a romantic partner or even a crush. In a platonic love relationship, you support each other, and that includes helping them to be happy romantically.
Is platonic love healthy?
More often than not, platonic love is a way to increase your sense of belonging to someone. It also helps boost confidence and mental health.
For example, if you are in platonic love, then you have someone to talk to. You have someone who appreciates you. Even if you are having a bad day, you know there is someone who’s got your back.
This works wonders. Platonic love, therefore, allows you to reduce stress and cope with anxiety better. It’s also great for people with psychological challenges such as bipolar disorder.
Intimacy in platonic love
Intimacy isn’t always sexual. There could be intimacy involved in a platonic love friendship. Being incredibly close to someone can indeed get intimate but how it naturally happens is truly remarkable.
None of the parties feel uncomfortable due to intimacy in a platonic love relationship.
It’s also possible for a platonic friendship to transform into a romantic relationship. Two good friends can start to feel physically attracted to each other. When that happens it’s not platonic love anymore.
Different people have different boundaries. Also, different friendships have different levels of what’s comfortable.
Sometimes, for example, it might be okay to cuddle each other. A gentle kiss on the cheek might be fine.
But in other cases, intimacy might be a sign of attraction that’s withheld.
Most guys can easily go about a month without showing any expectations that they have, and it will look like platonic love, but they might secretly expect the friendship to become something else.