Poor communication is one of the most popular reasons why couples disagree with each other so vehemently. And while disagreements and arguments are natural and in fact healthy in non-substantive amounts, too much misunderstanding can inevitably lead to relationship fallout. If you are trying to know how to win your ex back who broke up with you over nights of endless arguing and bantering, then here are a couple of things that you may like to know.
First of all, poor communication is a big no-no in relationships. You should seek to remove your deficiency as a communicator and improve the way you converse with your partner. Now, what can be designated as signs of poor communication? These could be issues such as:
- Not listening intently
- Too much silence
- Threatening gestures
- Poor choice of words
- Poorly thought-out opinions
- Crass body language
If you find that you’ve committed a majority of these actions during the course of the relationship, then it is clear that you need to work on how to communicate with your ex so you can learn how to win your ex back.
It’s quite simple, really, to convince your ex that you will strive to improve on your manner of conversation. Just come up to them and plainly state that you plan to become a better listener and a good communicator on the quest of figuring out how to win your ex back.
Of course, you have to back your words up with solid evidence. Here are some tips on improving your communication skills especially when you will have arguments with your partner in the future:
1) Don’t bring up unrelated past issues.
Stay focused; discuss only the matter at hand. Bringing up problems that occurred in the past won’t help your case in whatever way. Not only that, it will add to the confusion that is probably already brewing. Therefore, you must stick to the current issues and finish arguing with your partner as soon as possible.
2) Listen really closely.
Listening is very often misunderstood as an action. You may think you’re listening, but in actuality, you’re probably rehearsing (in your mind) what you’re going to say after they stop talking. Real listening isn’t just about giving your partner a chance to speak without being interrupted. It’s about giving yourself a chance to reflect on what your communicative partner is saying. This is truly difficult a task, but listening is one half of communication.
3) Accept responsibility.
Think about arguments in relationships like this: it is highly improbable that all blame should be placed on one party alone. You definitely did something wrong along the way, so own your errors and accept responsibility for them. A good way to really demonstrate this to your partner is to use “I” more often than the word “You”. So, instead of saying accusatory statements like “You are to be blamed for everything,” you can say something more related to your own emotions and ideas, like “I think that we did something wrong in this area.” This won’t put your partner at the defensive.