If someone told you ”falling in love is easy” then they would be right. You may end up arguing with him or her if you are going through a painful break up. This experience has left you believing falling in love is hard to do. What they should have said is, ”falling in love is easy but justifying that love in a relationship is hard”. Your relationships could have worked with the right effort but you probably have the wrong perception of what that effort is.
You fell in love and that is great. You decided to get into a relationship with the person you fell in love with, which is even more great. What were your thoughts after you got into this relationship that ended in a break up? Where you hoping everything would work its self out because she or he loves you? That they wouldn’t leave you for anything? That was a really sweet world to lived in for a while but not very practical. In the real world, you need to provide needs in a relationship to make it work.
Basic needs like food, shelter, and water are things you should already have to be ready for a relationship. In a modern world that can go into money, a good job, and health insurance. I once knew a couple who broke off their engagement after fighting over a mattress. He wanted to use a mattress already used and she didn’t. I could totally see her point in that argument.
Other needs like listening to the other person, making her or him feel appreciate or admired, and being supportive may be present at the beginning of the relationship. As the relationship goes on though, things can get stale and boring if you don’t work at keeping the relationship exciting. The result is the needs that were being met aren’t as much if at all. You, your partner, or both can end up neglecting each other working and end up avoiding each other. A good sigh of this is when you pass each other in the hall and don’t look or speak to one and other.
One way to keep the relationship exciting is to always be working on it. Find ways to stroke each other’s egos and constantly stir up some romance. Going out and doing things together is a great strategy to try. You should still have your ‘you time’, just make sure to include your partner in things. A really small thing you can do that will go a long way is being considerate of your partner. If you are going to be late let them know so they aren’t worried when you don’t show up on time.
During the course of the relationship it is expected that mistakes will be made (and you will be aware when you make a mistake). Don’t beat yourself up, just work on what you did wrong. After a while you will end up making less and less mistakes in the relationship, and if after you do make any, it won’t be as bad.
If you don’t work on not making mistakes in your relationship you may get away with it for a while but eventually your partner will break up with you. I remember a woman I talked to told me she was in a relationship with a really nice guy except for one thing. He would keep losing things and expected her to keep track of his things as if she were his mother. She put up with him for a few years but after a while she told him to hit the road. She didn’t want to feel like his mother the rest of her life.
Hopefully you can see that although it doesn’t seem to bother your partner when you make mistakes, it does. in a relationship. That if you make a mistake in the relationship and he or she lets it slide by you need to work on not making the mistake again. Finally don’t assume your partner wouldn’t leave you for anything in the world just because he or she over look your mistakes. Learning how to make a relationship work is something we do as we go along.