The best relationship problem advice you’ll ever hear is to put aside your own needs. That’s it. It’s brain dead simple yet it’s so hard to actually carry out. The problem is the fact that when we feel we’re right, it’s hard to notice that the other person might be upset and by just giving in you can avoid a fight. If you can get good at this, your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, or husband will never leave you.
Sure it’s annoying. Sure it’s not fair. But you’re the one that wants to fix things, right? That’s why you’re reading this right now. It won’t do any good to advise the other person to do this (believe me, I’ve tried), so you have to. If you really care about your relationship, you need to be able to swallow your pride and forget about your own wants and needs. This isn’t necessarily all the time, but it will be often.
Once you start to live and think selflessly, though, your world will change. No longer will you have to worry about fighting over silly things. No longer will there be tension between you and the person you love. No longer will you say things you didn’t mean to say or think thoughts that make you feel guilty later. This takes care of all of that and the best part is this:
It’s 100% in your hands.
That’s right. You’re the one that gets to see if the relationship works out or fails. You’re the one that will utimately be able to decide if you want to stick through the bad times or put a stop to it once and for all. Realizing this will make you feel better about your life as well as make you feel better about your relationship. This new outlook will translate into confidence that your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, or husband will pick up on. And that will also help the relationship.
If there are specific issues going on though, you should really address those. If the issues seem petty then they’re just a front for what’s really going on and this will help you fix that immediately.
Fix Cheating Relationship
In order to fix cheating relationship, you need to first uncover why your lover (or why you) are cheating in the first place. Now obviously this is a lot easier than it seems but it is possible. And once you get down to the nitty gritty you’ll learn a lot more about your relationship as well. In other words, it’s really worth figuring out what the root cause is, not just to save your relationship (though you’ll do that too).
It will really take a lot of honesty on both your parts. Whoever is guilty of doing the cheating (if if you both did) needs to come clean. You need to know exactly when it started so you can have a better idea of what was going on at the time. Here’s the thing, though. It’s not about what was going on at that time. What really matters is what was happening the weeks or even months before. See, cheating is rarely (if ever) a snap decision. It’s not something most people do on a whim. Most people need to make a lot of justifications in their mind to be able to go through with it. That’s why you need to figure out what happened.
I should also mention that I’m not saying that anyone ever deserves to be cheated on. I’m not saying that you should or shouldn’t get back with someone who cheated on you either. People are successful either way, to be honest. It really depends on the couple. Even if the relationship is on the rocks, the mature, honest, humane thing to do is break up. Cheating is never a good answer. However, I want you to know what might have triggered it so you will know how to address that and overcome it (if you want to).
Now, if you were the cheater, it’s a whole different story. You still need to get to the bottom of the issue, but you have to work on getting your ex (or soon to be ex) to be able to forgive you and trust you again. It’s possible, and many people have done it. It’s important to remember that even though cheating is horrible, everyone makes mistakes and if you learn from it then I hope you do repair your relationship and win your ex back.
Can Taking A Break Help A Relationship?
Can taking a break help a relationship? Well, sure, it can, obviously. The question is, will it for you? If you’re not the one suggesting the break it can be difficult because it almost feels like you’re actually getting broken up with. Basically, the important thing to do when you and your boyfriend or girlfriend talk about having a break is agreeing on the terms. You need to ask these very important questions to avoid major fights down the road:
- Can you date other people?
- How long should it last?
- What is the goal of taking a break?
- Can you talk, text, meet up with eachother, etc?
A lot of people don’t discuss these things before hand and that leads to a lot of problems. One of you will decide to hang out with someone else and the other will be hurt. By figuring out the rules, you can avoid this. Also, it will help to guage where the relationship is at. For example, if your boyfriend or girlfriend suggests that you don’t date or see anyone during the break and can still talk and text, that’s a good sign. This means that they’re truly trying to figure things out and work on the relationship.
On the other hand, if they suggest that you do date new people and don’t talk much, that’s really a sign that they don’t have the courage to actually break up with you. They’re just trying to ease out of the relationship. This is a sure sign that they want to take a break and never resume.
If this is happening, don’t be afraid. You can still save your relationship. These problems are common and a lot of couples go through them. What you have to do is continue to be confident in yourself. Be very proactive. Unless you specifically agree to not date other people, you must do this immediately. It will show your boyfriend or girlfriend that you don’t mess around and that you aren’t fully available. Now, keep in mind that you don’t have to break up the relationship. You just want to casually date or hang out with someone. This makes you look so much more attractive, and by not seriously dating someone else, you’re free to go back to your loved one at any time.
Whatever you do, try to get a feel for where your girlfriend or boyfriend is coming from. You can easily tell if their intentions are to help the relationship or to just break it off. You need to act accordingly.