Be content with staying alone for a while. This is helpful in your objective to get your ex back.
Remotion, in its very basic definition, is the act of removing. In our 6-part system, remotion will be the removal of your PHYSICAL and SOCIAL self from the presence of your ex. What I’m trying to say here is, you will not be communicating and seeing your ex for an indefinite period of time. You may have seen these tips couple of times on the web already: “don’t see him/her, don’t send text messages, don’t chat, don’t go to the places your ex may go to…” This advice has definitely been recycled over and over.
The question is this: why should you have to do that? Why is there a need to remove yourself from the presence of the person you truly love? The main purpose of this strategy, according to relationship sites, is to make your ex-partner miss you so badly. That is partially true, but if you look deeper and start scratching the surface, there are tons of psychological implications upon doing so.
See, humans recognize emotions through memory and repetition. When they see the person they love, instinctively their pulses beat faster. When a child sees his parents, he becomes excited. When you go to a particular bar to party with your friends, you feel familiar and safe. If your partner constantly SEES you after the breakup, if he/she constantly receives communication from you, his/her memory of the pain because of the breakup will become more and more real. It will stick to your ex stronger than ever before. If you don’t like to run that risk, DON’T ADD TO THE COMPLICATIONS. Become absent! Erase yourself from your ex-partner’s life, because that’s the only feasible way to get your ex back!
Have you ever heard of the concept “tabula rasa”? In English that translates to “clean slate”, or to start anew, to start from scratch, to go back to square one. Removing yourself from your ex-partner’s world is your only chance to start things freshly again. The idea here is that once you go missing from your ex’s life, he/she will become focused on other things. Once you come back, better and stronger than ever, your ex-partner will develop a renewed sense of attraction to you. Your ex-partner will inevitably become thrilled to have you back in his/her life again.
A TIME FOR CONTEMPLATION
Needless to say, staying away from your ex-partner for a while will help you a lot too to get your ex back. It will give you lots of time to contemplate on the issues plaguing the relationship. Your ex will also perceive this action as a sign that you’re handling things maturely, which is definitely a plus point at any rate. And since we’re on the business of removing your depression (see step # 2: RESTORATION) not seeing your ex-partner will erase most of the sadness away.
HOW LONG MUST I BE ABSENT?
Now, this is a query that has a very variable answer, because it depends on a lot of things. First you have to consider the intensity of the relationship and the gravity of the breakup. Second, it also depends on how long it will take for your ex to yearn for your presence again. This is going to manifest in a form of a call or text that he/she will make. It is crucial to never make the first move of communicating with your ex if you are to get your ex back.
SENDING A MESSAGE
Absence is a very powerful tool to deliver your message to your ex. Rather than physically shouting at your ex “I want you and I want you to want me too!” you could simply never turn up for many days and imply “I miss you and I’m waiting for you to miss me too.”
Once you never show up, you become a mysterious force that is missing from your ex’s life, and later on he/she will notice this particular lacking. Soon enough your ex-partner will wonder these things:
- Why is my ex not showing up?
- How is my ex doing right now?
- Where could my ex be?
- Should I call my ex? Should I email him/her?
Notice the final question. If your ex gets to that point, it signifies that he/she is considering commencing communications with you. And that is the whole point of this step, to get them to contact you first even without trying.
Once your ex calls you and asks how you’ve been faring after the breakup, you’ve reached the goal, and your chances are increased to get your ex back. We can now therefore commence the next step: REJUVENATION. How must you totally improve your life so you can catch your ex-partner’s attention? We’re going to find that out as you read on…
