“I want her back,” guys would often tell each other and themselves, but no amount of wishful thinking will bring back their wives or take away all the hurtful things that they’ve told her. The truth of the matter is that breakups and even divorces are also the products of relationships.
Note that I didn’t say ‘part of the relationship’ with regards to divorces. That is because breakups don’t cause themselves. They are the inevitable end product and symptoms of other problems, not the least of which include miscommunication, infidelity, arrogance, aloofness, you name it… Anything and everything can gradually cause a perfectly good relationship to turn on itself, and sometimes people have a hard time coping with their long term effects.
Cases of divorce in the past century weren’t as prevalent as they are now. However, as women began to take jobs, the institution of marriage changed to the point that the number of divorces would eventually increase dramatically.
So you can keep telling yourself “I want her back” but unless you retrace your steps, you won’t be able to put the problem in the right perspective. When we take into account the unpredictable nature of relationships in general, the problems which lead to divorce come from various sources. The most common causes of divorce are:
- The need for independence
- The loss of romance in the marriage
- Lack of sexual attraction
- Incompatibility in ideas and tastes
- Alcoholism or Drug Addiction
- Health problems
- Physical or Emotional Abuse
- A lack of concern for children
The pointers mentioned above are among the most common causes of marriage problems. Divorce may be the result of one or more problems. One cause may be enough for one marriage, while in another case it takes several causes to lead to divorce.
Marriages and relationships can be complicated things. Some marriages for example, don’t involve a lot of sex or physical attraction, whereas others are based around child bearing or sex. If the basis of such a marriage – in this case, sex – is destroyed, the relationship will result in a breakup. So don’t just keep telling yourself “I want her back,” take a step back and analyze what the foundations of your marriage were about and how it has been undermined.