It’s a very common line for girls to say when they want to dump their boyfriends because they’re already too tired in the relationship: “Let’s just be friends”. I myself had to put up with this when my ex broke up with me in the past, and I definitely struggled on how to get my girlfriend back given that her premise on breaking us up was reducing our status from a romantic one to a platonic one. This is just one of the most difficult and painful situations to be in as a man, and you should be able to get out of the trap cleverly and unwittingly set up for you if you want the relationship to have a second chance.
So, how should it be if your soon-to-be-ex wants to be “just friends” with you? Should you bow down to her request? Should you reject the offer altogether? What are the steps you have to take in order to truly get your ex back? Read this article as I share to you some insight that I learned from figuring out how to get my girlfriend back myself.
Don’t stay friends with your ex.
There, the advice is very clear: if you won’t be your girlfriend’s boyfriend anymore, you might as well be nothing to her. Accepting the offer of “being friends” translates to complete suicide, romantically speaking. You won’t be able to take her back after being placed in the so-called friend zone. Once you become friends with her, there’s no turning back. It will be very difficult to overturn the relationship status once you go down the friendship lane.
What you should do, therefore, is to quietly say “No”, firmly walking away from her life for a great deal of time. This will show her that you are being serious in wanting to get her back and that you won’t allow yourself to be placed in a situation you don’t want to be. This will also help cool things down a little bit. Just plainly state to her that you do not plan to permanently end up being just her “friend”, and that you’d rather stay out of her life for a bit for the sake of the relationship.
Become unavailable to her.
This is a particularly good strategy to implement in situations such as this. In my case, for example, upon trying to determine how to get my girlfriend back, I tried to stay away from my ex for a couple of weeks and this turned out to be a great source of tension and panic on her part. She wanted to know where I was, wanted to know how I’ve been doing… The effect was nothing short of phenomenal.
Once you become missing from her life, she will begin to notice how much your presence means to her. She will finally realize the big hole that only you can fill and this will make her reconsider her action of breaking up with you. Just make sure never to overdo it, though – your ex may interpret it as a sign to move on, so you should contact her once in a while, still. But for the most part, be very exclusive and unavailable to her.
Make your case once she is ready again.
Now that you’ve set up the right environment for her to reconsider her emotions towards you, all you’ve got to do is wait until you think it is the right time to talk to her about your plans again. By this time it has become clear to her that you really are intent on getting the relationship back, which will strongly add to your case. Just remember to never pressure her and take things slowly in her own pacing.