So you want to get back with your ex girlfriend. If you are going to do that, you will have to understand how and why relationships end. For starters, there are plenty of reasons why relationships go south, including infidelity, fighting, money, inability to change, etc… However, another common reason why relationships end up in the gutter is that guys (and girls) can be complete jerks.
If you feel that you may have been a little selfish, a little insincere, a little over-the-top, a little too aggressive or even a little inattentive then that may have been what caused your girlfriend to leave you. Despite the supposed love for bad boys by women, some of them will not tolerate an abusive relationship.
If you felt that you had been a jerk to your girl then you probably were. And now that you’ve admitted it, you want to get back with your ex girlfriend, right? The question of course is how. And just as important, how do you get her to forgive you?
Although there are a lot of things that you can do or say to become a bad boyfriend, reversing the effects of the mess will require you to be more subtle. The first thing that you should do is to take a step back and get rid of any notion of begging or taking her back. At this point, you are both emotionally sensitive, which means that any contact at this point may lead to a lot of unpredictable problems.
So even though you want to tell her how sorry you are that you treated her so badly, at this point she may not even be willing to hear you out. And although there’s no certainty that you’ll be able to get back with your ex girlfriend, but if it’s possible, it will also take a little time and effort.
After enough time has passed, it’s time to re-establish contact with your ex, and to do so, a simple apology email may be better than a phone call. After so much time apart, she may be relieved to know that your first communication with each other since the breakup is not a hard and fast confrontation that could easily lead to more anger or even a restraining order. Also, there’s no telling how she’ll react to your message, but if she has any feelings left for you then she’ll most likely respond.
And who knows? After you have given your ex girlfriend the time she requires to sort out her own emotions, she may even remember how things used to be that she’ll miss you.
And most important of all, you need to take some time for personal reflection to look at how far your relationship has gone and how far it can go, provided that you can get back with your ex girlfriend. Start with a simple question like, “How did things become the way they are?” or “Where did we go wrong?” If you think you still love your girlfriend and she still loves you then the only thing that you can do at this point is to wait for her to respond to your message.
As you wait for her to contact you back, don’t simply sit around and do nothing. You’ll only end up building a lot of resentment, not to mention a lot of self-pity. Instead, you should spend the time you have to improve yourself and your surroundings.
It doesn’t have to be anything extravagant though, just something that you can tell your ex-girlfriend about if or when she asks, “What’s new with you?” And who knows? Your improvements on your life may even spark a new type of attraction in her.
When your girlfriend finally starts talking to you again, be sure to keep things friendly and casual. The worst thing that you can do at this point is to push your ex into accepting you again. It also helps to think of the reconciliation process as a rerun of your first relationship but without the mistakes. Patching up your relationship with your girlfriend will not be an easy thing to do but if you take it slowly and rebuild the trust that used to be there then there’s a good chance that you can get back with your ex girlfriend.