YouTube hits for marriage proposals were trending hugely last year, to the point where you couldn’t check your Twitter or Facebook account without a link to some kind of video of an unsuspecting woman in a park, on a train, at Disneyland or as part of a magic trick… the list seemed endless. The achievement itself of organising such an event must be impressive with hindsight, although the moment itself might feel daunting, but does this mean that the only impressive wedding proposal has to be a viral success on YouTube? And is this putting men off proposing altogether, when the bar is being raised so high? Whatever happened to good, old-fashioned, private romance anyway?
Marriage Proposals That Work; It’s The Love That Counts!
If a wedding is a public declaration of a privately shared love between two people, (and as David Baddiel recently put it in Psychologies magazine, this is a point to be considered – do you really want your Aunty Maureen to be watching while you do this?) then is it truly necessary to make the proposal public as well? Shouldn’t we girls be giving guys a break and taking the pressure off the proposal part of the equation? Is expecting a flash-mob style performance taking things a step too far?
How traditional, small scale proposals can be a cut above the YouTube rest…
Showing thought and careful planning doesn’t have to involve organising groups of people to sing or perform impromptu dance routines
The guy who diligently researches jewellers, who would be willing to design a ring that befits his fiancée and goes back on several visits to the carefully chosen jeweller, is showing care and planning of the highest order. A ring that is custom-made for you is all you need to have in order to provide a convincing argument that this guy really pulls out all the stops for you. Remember, proposals are not about auditioning for the best project manager or viral advertising promoter. It’s just you and him. You and your partner are the only people who count, and a dance mob, frankly, could be a little distracting. After all marriage proposals that work out for the best come in all shapes and sizes.
Picking the right day, time and setting to privately propose to you is better than booking a flash-mob anyway
In all honesty, which would you prefer – a proposal on the train while you’re wearing your coat and scarf and comfy walking boots, where you are faced with a bunch of video cameras and everyone staring at you like a rabbit caught in the headlights, or by a log fire and sofa, with your best dress on in your rented cottage for the romantic getaway you thought was just a ‘nice break’ after a sumptuous dinner for two? The latter sounds like the stuff memories are made of, to me. We hold the best memories in our hearts, not our iPod video playlist.
If the elements of the proposal we recall are the scent and beautiful color of red roses, the warmth of the longest hug of your life, the soft piano music in the background and the feel of the silky dress you were wearing at the time, then surely you have been saved from the blurred memory of the ambush of an otherwise quiet walk in the park and a blast of noise and commotion on your much anticipated day off. Count your blessings!
Making the most of what you have instead of throwing money at the situation shows the kind of creativity and commitment that precludes a future filled with purpose, not promotion.
If your fiancé has gone to the trouble of creating a nice cosy atmosphere at home, or treating you to a pampering session from a local masseuse instead of an expensive weekend away in a hotel, give him credit where credit’s due. This shows he knows how to prioritise the things that will make you feel good above the flashy statement-events that only require a wad of cash being thrown at them, rather than careful insight and effort. Value your partner for the ways in which he goes the extra mile for you, not in terms of finances, but in time and effort put in to organising something you would love.
If he’s kept the proposal quiet, you can thank your lucky stars that you are with a guy who appreciates intimacy. And indeed privacy, which seems to be going out of fashion these days, but was once a prized commodity. You can remember this happy moment for the rest of your life in your head, and not as a link on Facebook. Whether you decide to announce your happy news on social media sites afterwards, remains entirely up to you. Whatever happens though I hope you get to enjoy it.